Life of Becka

Confessions of a Dreamer

6 am

I decided to write a short blurb about what being addicted to prescription drugs was like for me. Months later I often find it hard to believe that this was my mind set but the truth is this is exactly how I felt. With my brothers birthday just around the corner and knowing what happened to him, I am feeling more and more compelled to share my story in the hopes that it might help someone else. Thanks for reading this!

It’s 6 am, the world is dark but my thirst is great. I am barely out of bed yet my thoughts are already on that glorious orange pill locked within the secure box a few feet away.

The anticipation is eating at me, how soon will I get it?

How much longer will he take?

I am tempted to remind my husband that it is now 6:30 and time for my medicine but we’ve been through that song and dance before. Even though the logical side of me know he means well and is in essence protecting me from myself, I can’t help but feel resentment as the clock ticks by minute by minute.

Finally at 6:45 glorious release, the orange pill in my hand, down my throat in a nanosecond, my body relaxes and reality is a little more bearable.

Now I just have to wait till my daughter gets home and convince her to give me another pill. I am not sure what I will say yet but it’s ok, I have the whole day to think something up.


This entry was posted on October 13, 2009 by in My Story and tagged , , , .


%d bloggers like this: