Life of Becka

Confessions of a Dreamer

Finding My Wings

My mother has lived in an abusive relationship for the past 20 years. I myself lived in an abusive relationship for over six years. When I was talking to her earlier today we got into a conversation about her situation. I used this anology about how I felt during my own situation that seemed to help her, I hope it might help others too:

For many years I was a bird trapped inside a gilded cage. The outside seemed so close yet so far away. Within my barred existence I did my best to sing even when in my heart I knew no one would here my song. I spent a long time looking out and wishing for a way to be amongst the other birds so beautiful and bright. One day, after my 6th year of captivity, I woke up a realized that the key to my cage had been right there with me all along. Buried underneath my self-doubt, my fear, my sadness, was a tiny golden key, a way to free myself and move on with my life. The funny thing is though, although I had discovered where my key lay, it took some time to find the courage to use it. When I was ready and my door flew open, I found myself stuck, almost paralyzed.

I was a bird, why could I not simply get up and fly? Why did I stand at the edge still looking out? So instead of spreading my wings that has atrophied from years of neglect, I did the next best thing. I used my feet, put one foot in front of the other and before I knew it, my cage was far behind me, a memory down a road that I no longer had to take.

Then one day something magical happened to me. After many months of walking I felt a flutter in my wings. Slow at first then faster and faster. Before I knew it I was soaring.

So mom, the point of this tale is simple. You and only you hold the key to your freedom. It may be buried under mounds of issues, but the day you find it, all it will take for you too to find your wings, it to take the first tentative step out of your cage. When you are ready, I will be there and together we can fly to wherever the future may take us.

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