Life of Becka

Confessions of a Dreamer

A Teen Mother’s Story


This was in response to a discussion on the DoSomething.org post on the statistics of teen pregnancy today

I was a teen mom. I had my daughter at 16, my junior year of high school. I was not a slut or a ho or an uneducated miscreant. As a matter of fact I was an honor roll student who was in the top of her class and sang in the chorus!

I am not advocating teen pregnancy before anyone gets the wrong idea, as a matter of fact. I work with teens all the time to teach them about being proactive instead of reactive when it comes to their sexual choices.

For me finding myself pregnant at 16 had more to do with looking for my self esteem on the outside instead of trying to find it within myself. I liken it to the SuperMan complex. Teenagers feel invincible, they feel like bad things happen to everyone else not to themselves. The truth is though all of us have our own version of Kryptonite. For some of us it is drugs, alcohol or for others like me, it is sex.

Having a baby felt like the chance for unconditional love, an opportunity to not feel invisible anymore, to be truly and completely loved just for me. I did not set out to get pregnant, hell I slept with him once and next thing I knew that little stick was turning pink. I am 34 now guys, my daughter graduates high school this year. I am proud to say that the cycle has seemingly ended with me. Getting pregnant at a young age is the toughest, hardest job that any young woman or man will ever deal with.

The point of what I am trying to get at is that yes there is an epidemic in our society. Yes way to many girls find themselves becoming mothers way before they are ready.

I have always told my daughter that I never regret for a second having her in my life. I will always regret, however, bringing a child into the world that I was not mentally, emotionally or financially prepared to take care of.

She had to grow up so much faster than her peers. While she is a strong, vibrant beautiful young woman today, her life has been hard.

I would encourage any young woman who is thinking about becoming a young mom to think twice. It is not your life anymore. I was emancipated at 16 so that I could be a parent. While we have done well, our story is rare. Remember that the road you chose when you become a parent is not a road you will ever walk alone. You and the child you bring into this world deserve to do it right, not to struggle.

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This entry was posted on October 22, 2009 by in My Story, Teen Parenting and tagged , , , , , .
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