Life of Becka

Confessions of a Dreamer

Waiting for the Phone to Ring


A few weeks ago I went to my OBGYN because I felt a small pea sized lump in my breast and this really weird large mass next to it. He sent me for a mammogram which was followed by a sonogram which was followed yesterday by a core biopsy. I have tried to maintain my composure and reassure myself that it is most likely fibrotic tissue, nothing to worry about and that everything is great. Today though as I sit and wait for the results I cannot help but play scenarios in my head. Even though the chances of their being something wrong are slim to none, it still gets inside your thoughts and does not go away until you know for sure. Below is just a brief little poem on what the waiting has felt like today.

Time has slowed to a crawl
It has dragged on minute by minute
hour by hour
My heart beats so fast in my chest
I find myself taking long and deep breaths to
slow it down.
So many What If’s run through my head
I am trying to stay positive
but I’m scared
I am trying to be hopeful
but I’m unsure
All I can do is wait
minute by minute
hour by hour
till that phone rings and
it is revealed whether
I should leap for joy
or crumble with sadness.

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This entry was posted on February 25, 2010 by in My Story, True Life and tagged , , , .
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