Confessions of a Dreamer
Loosing someone you love is like standing in the tracks as a freight train barrels into your soul, leaving your heart in fragments.
It’s sadness so overwhelming you feel your tears may form a river that will carry you away on waves of grief.
It’s rightous anger at everyone; God, yourself, the person who left you behind.
It’s questioning everything and anything. The Would, Coulda, Shoulda thoughts invading your brain.
It’s hysterical laughter at random memories, giant grins a discovering lost photos.
It’s realizing how very fragile your own mortality is. How we are in this world for the briefest of moments and then we are gone.
So I take each moment, each hour, each day and remind myself that each new day is a gift. It’s not guarnateed. That if I left this Earth right now at this very moment, that I mattered, that I was loved, that I gave love in return.
When I start to feel overwhelmed and full of sadness I stop, take a deep breath, and remember some basic truths.Life is not about what you earn, what you obtain or the title on your business card. It’s about the simple things, a child’s smile, the warmth of an embrace, the connection that we feel with another human being. No one’s grave ever read “he earned a lot of money” “she drove a great car”, they do read, however, “she was loved”, “he was a father and husband”…
Death is the ultimate alarm clock. It wakes us up with a vengance; often shaking us to the very core of who we are. The pain never goes away when you loose someone, but it does get easier.
You learn to live with the grief, like an unwanted roommate who won’t take the hint. You learn to appreciate the small things and to ignore the petty. To cherish your memories and to hold those you have a little bit tighter.
Our lives come and go so quickly. We worry about the things that don’t matter and don’t focus enough on the things that do. I encourage everyone to reach out to each other, call an old friend, spend time with a grandparent or a cousin you’ve lost touch with. No day is guaranteed so treasure each one you have and make it count.