My name is Rebecca Lynn and I am an addict. I’ve been one since the age of 15. Everyone assumes that addiction is only about drugs. That’s not true. For … Continue reading
I have often been accused of over sharing. Spilling to my off my life in public, not holding back enough. The truth is, that’s not a lie. I do over … Continue reading
I’ve written poems before on what it is like to have most of your memories gone because of PTSD. Lately I have been feeling very worn down with not being able to remember. It is heart wrenching at times to have friends tell you of the things you did together and have absolutely no clue that it ever happened. This is just another way of trying to express what it feels like sometimes.
A few weeks ago I went to my OBGYN because I felt a small pea sized lump in my breast and this really weird large mass next to it. He sent me for a mammogram which was followed by a sonogram which was followed yesterday by a core biopsy. Below is just a brief little poem on what the waiting has felt like today.
Before I, or he knew what was happening our e-mails began turning more and more hopeful, wishful, full of promise. By the second time I saw him a month later, I was completely head over heels, by the third time I saw him, I said yes when he proposed to me on the same beach where we had met 3 months before. Two months later I packed all my worldly possessions into two boxes and shipped them to IL. Next I packed myself and two children onto an airplane to start our new life.
Merry Christmas to all of my friends here on the net. Here is wishing you a safe and happy holiday and hoping that the new year brings each of you … Continue reading
I am, however, so grateful for the time I have had. It is a funny thing I guess to eulogize a rat, but when you think of it, in many ways we all go through a “rat” phase in our lives. We find ourselves misunderstood, or encounter those who may not like us because of our looks or beliefs.
In my every optimistic view on life, would it not be great if rather than tearing each other apart for what makes us different, we instead took the time to embrace what makes us the same. Our need to grow, to learn, to have hope in a better tomorrow. Regardless of what “side” of the coin you fall on,I like to think the middle is a much nicer place to meet.
This year has perhaps been one of the hardest of my life. There are days where I miss the old me the one who popped a pill to forget, to function, to get through each day. Then there are days where I am filled with endless optimism and hope. Recovery from any kind of addiction is a life long process. It is the greatest struggle of all, the one you fight within yourself.