My name is Rebecca Lynn and I am an addict. I’ve been one since the age of 15. Everyone assumes that addiction is only about drugs. That’s not true. For … Continue reading
You don’t get off any kind of drug and miraculously go right back to where you where. There is a feeling though that I have not had in some time. Hope. Hope that each day will get a little better. Hope that I will be brave enough to venture further and further out my front door. Hope that someday I will fully reclaim my life and all the fears and challenges and depression that was once a part of my day to day life will continue to feel more and more like a dream that was.
It’s 6 am, the world is dark but my thirst is great. I am barely out of bed yet my thoughts are already on that glorious orange pill locked within the secure box a few feet away.
Methamphetamine is an addictive stimulant drug that strongly activates the central nervous system. It can be smoked, snorted, orally ingested, and injected. It is available in many different forms and may be identified by color, which can range from white to yellow to darker colors such as red and brown. Methamphetamine comes in a powder form that looks like granulated crystals and in a rock form known as “ice,” which is the smokeable version of methamphetamine.
Addiction is a chronic, relapsing disease, characterized by compulsive drug seeking and use, accompanied by functional and molecular changes in the brain. In addition to being addicted to methamphetamine, chronic abusers exhibit symptoms that can include anxiety, confusion, insomnia, mood disturbances, and violent behavior. They also can display a number of psychotic features, including paranoia, visual and auditory hallucinations, and delusions (for example, the sensation of insects creeping under the skin). Psychotic symptoms can sometimes last for months or years after methamphetamine abuse has ceased, and stress has been shown to precipitate spontaneous recurrence of methamphetamine psychosis in formerly psychotic methamphetamine abusers.
Methamphetamine is commonly known as “speed,” “meth,” and “chalk.” In its smoked form, it is often referred to as “ice,” “crystal,” “crank,” and “glass.” It is a white, odorless, bitter-tasting crystalline powder that easily dissolves in water or alcohol. The drug was developed early last century from its parent drug, amphetamine, and was used originally in nasal decongestants and bronchial inhalers. Like amphetamine, methamphetamine causes increased activity and talkativeness, decreased appetite, and a general sense of well-being.
However, in 2003, approximately 15 million Americans reported using a prescription drug for nonmedical reasons at least once during the year.
If I had known 5 years ago what I know now I would have never started taking the drug. I know my experience may be unique only to myself but for me at least, Adderal was the devil cloaked in orange, and I am so glad I’m finally on the road to being able to ignore his tempation.
Life has not always been easy for me over the years but I am working each day to make it better. While I have found my life’s passion by becoming a self-taught graphic design and photography manipulation specialist, I have also struggled for years with addiction to an amphetamine based ADHD drug called Adderral. It has wreaked havoc on my personal and professional life and each day is a slow (and sometimes) painful step towards recovery.